OnePageWonder stories to read alone at night



Rite Aid of Angst

So, it's October 1st...

halloween rite aid


Do you know what that means? It's Halloween Extravaganza time here at OPW. It's finally here. Granted, I could have started weeks ago, but life has a pesky habit of getting in the way. I am also terrible at updating this site, but I prefer to blame life.

But I knew I had to do something to commemorate the season today, so I told my daughter when we picked her up from Kindergarten that we could stop at Rite Aid and that she would be in charge of picking out 5 things to feature in today's article. Spooky things, of course. In fact, she knows the drill and has been bringing up going to get stuff that we can feature on the site. She doesn't really have any idea that this site exists, but she does enjoy going to the various stores we frequent this time of year and assisting with taking pictures of our loot.

rite aid


So without further ado, there it is, there's our Rite Aid. Ecce Rite Aid. Sigh. Rite Aid. I hate this store, but the truth is that I was out of diapers, so perhaps the spirit of Halloween wasn't my only motivation for today's visit.

But the kids understood my whole five things spiel, so we're off...

halloween aisle rite aid


So what's it going to be?

halloween rite aid
Spook spider webs?
Can't go wrong there.

Or perhaps...

halloween rite aid
Mermaid Make-up?


Or maybe you were thinking...candy?

halloween rite aid


Yes, they were definitely thinking candy. All the candy. All the candy goes in the basket.

halloween rite aid basket


Then we'll fight over who gets to push the basket. This is serious business after all.

And now the really scary part.

Was it the row of Cute Babies we all suspiciously eyed, but dared not say a word about?

halloween rite aid cute babies


No, don't talk about those. Never talk about those.

Now we have to check out.

Do we not have money?

No, it's even worse than that. You see, this store is managed by someone somewhere who has never set foot in a Rite Aid. There's something called a KPI and that person swears by them. Look, never mind, the thing you have to know is that this store only has one person working it at any given time and they won't leave the register. Want that beautiful cylindrical Thrifty ice cream? Tough luck, they won't make eye contact with you. Need to exchange a propane? Tough luck, they can't leave the register. But we need to pay and that means there's only one person on the register and there's a line.

So, there's always a line at the grocery store.

No, you don't get it. These people aren't just checking out, they all need to make returns for some reason, they all need money orders, and they all have expired coupons and you better believe they want to talk to a manager about it. And the whole system is somehow run on a Commodore 64 that runs credit cards through a 28.8k modem that connects through an AT&T cell tower that's just barely within range.

That is the angst; what it means to stare into the abyss.

But today we got off easy, it seems they staff the store properly at times when they know it won't be busy.

Anyhow, let's go assemble our haul for a quick pic before tearing into it.

Can we check on our growing ghosts first?

Of course...

growing ghosts rite aid


They've gotten bigger.

They certainly have.



halloween rite aid candy haul


Well, there it is. Our Halloween haul. Not bad for a 2 and 5 year old. All told, they pared it down to Pez, candy skulls, a lip smacker, Peeps, and some lip pops. Strangely, my recommendation of mermade make-up and Palmer's chocolates fell on deaf ears.

And thank you for stopping by this year, to our end of the modest pumpkin patch.

And happy October 1st!

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