One Page Blog  from the geniuses at OnePageWonder.com

I was combing through the old hard drive the other day when I ran across an old Mitch Hedberg special we had recorded. I don't know if you're familiar with Mitch Hedberg, but in case you're not, he's only the best comedian ever to grace this world. Bear and I were lucky enough to catch one of his last live performances before he died and it was really everything we thought it would be.

Mitch's comedy was characterized by odd observations and non-sequiter timing, but what really made it work was the delivery. His laid back rock'n'roll attitude had you holding onto the last possible second before he hit you over the head with a punchline that took a moment to sink in:

Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?

Nobody else could deliver that joke, which is probably why you're not laughing right now- you'd have to hear it from him. And seeing Mitch Hedberg perform was amazing, he'd just kind of stand there hiding behind his hair and sunglasses, never even looking at the crowd. No props, no gestures, just some laid back guy talking about one random subject to the next. It didn't really matter if the audience laughed or if they responded at all, it was just his show and he was doing it his way. So if you're still yearning for some more Mitch, here's some quotes I'll leave you with:

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

“I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work.'”

... wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy ...