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It finally happened. I looked out the window at 7:30 yesterday morning and was greeted by a gift from mother nature. It was snowing, the snow was sticking, and most of all, the roads were completely unfit for driving. It was a snowday. I made a couple of phone calls, and once I got the word there would be no work, Bear and I set off to explore the city.

We started by walking down to Pioneer Square to watch the city and monitor the phone just to make sure we wouldn't end up having to work that afternoon. There's something strange about a snow day in a downtown area. The snow seems to slow everything down and the city is actually quiet. People want to whisper and everyone has a smile on their face.

But then things got fun. The snow continued and mixing the elements with people, it was just a matter of time before people started doing really stupid things. I think it may be because it seldom snows in Portland, but the city just got stupid. The local news didn't really help either. They came out with their Storm Watch graphics and sensationalism. If you were watching the Portland news in another city, you'd swear that we were just a stone's throw away from full scale looting and anarchy. Fueled by the arctic clime, Portlanders really got stupid. You had the people trying to drive without chains and bouncing off of each other like ping pong balls, people being rushed to hospital after deciding that public streets were prime sledding spots, and you had people like Bear and me who simply decided to watch the happenings from the safety of their local pubs.

We escaped unscathed, but I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed my first true snow day. We didn't get one last year so it was nice to have an excuse to stay home and relax.

I ran across a random wikipedia article on hypercolor. You may not remember the fad that was hypercolor, but it came out just after the whole neon thing died. So what do you do when your retina burning socks and tshirts fall out of fashion? How about clothes that actually change color with your body temperature? Maybe it was just because I was in junior high at the time, but for a brief moment in time, I really thought this was a good idea.

Fortunately, I never purchased anything hypercolor, which I'm proud to say. You see, while it may sound good on paper, being in junior high and owning any sort of clothing that changes color with body heat is a recipe for disaster. Think about, in junior high you're nothing more than a big sweat machine. Changing back into your hypercolor shirt after gymn class and you're definitely going to get some looks.

If the shirts were a recipe for an awkward situation, imagine those who bought the pants . . .

I was combing through the old hard drive the other day when I ran across an old Mitch Hedberg special we had recorded. I don't know if you're familiar with Mitch Hedberg, but in case you're not, he's only the best comedian ever to grace this world. Bear and I were lucky enough to catch one of his last live performances before he died and it was really everything we thought it would be.

Mitch's comedy was characterized by odd observations and non-sequiter timing, but what really made it work was the delivery. His laid back rock'n'roll attitude had you holding onto the last possible second before he hit you over the head with a punchline that took a moment to sink in:

Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?

Nobody else could deliver that joke, which is probably why you're not laughing right now- you'd have to hear it from him. And seeing Mitch Hedberg perform was amazing, he'd just kind of stand there hiding behind his hair and sunglasses, never even looking at the crowd. No props, no gestures, just some laid back guy talking about one random subject to the next. It didn't really matter if the audience laughed or if they responded at all, it was just his show and he was doing it his way. So if you're still yearning for some more Mitch, here's some quotes I'll leave you with:

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

“I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work.'”

... wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy ...